nails & dreams (+ sale promotion)

Hello dear readers!

Sorry for the long absence. It's September now, getting colder, but I am also getting closer to my goal because now I have finished my thesis and handed it in and I feel like a major burden letting go of me. 

this one sugarfree drink helped me through the last pages~

(one shot booster! omg I have to post this because it's yu-gi-oh 5Ds related haha)

Though, I am still a bit nervous about the result and I feel like I can only 'let go' myself once I have passed. But soooo much disciple was necessary for me to pursue this one goal. You can't imagine what kind of fight with myself this was. Sometimes I felt like giving up and running away but I felt like I gave a promise to myself that I couldn't possibly break. Some things always reminded me that I am working for something that is worth it and that will bring me somewhere in life. I am talking like it's such a big business but I am not even sure if I passed yet... but since I already moved out of my apartment, I might as well show you what kept me going because I saw it on my way to university for the past 2 1/2 years. It's weird that it's on my bus route to University... in the first semester I lived somewhere else so I did not see this. But when I saw this every morning, I thought it had to be destiny. God, I am theatrical haha.

I don't care if this makes me look silly. Everyone needs something to keep them going, right? And it took me a while to notice him from the bus window actually but eventually I found myself looking for him every morning. I don't like original Yu-Gi-Oh that much but it made me thing of 5Ds (spin-off) so much. If you know a bit about the anime, you will realize it's about pursuing your dreams. It's about rising from the ashes, from being no one to be someone you want to be.
If you are pursuing a dream, you might like one of my favourite characters, Jack, 'the fallen King' and his wonderful words:

だからこそ自分達の手でやりとけたい！
 That's why I want us to settle it by our own hands!

俺は諦めん！俺達の夢を、こんなところで、終わらすわけには行かない！
I won't give up! I can't let our dream end at this point!

This is it. This is what I felt like so many times and I felt like I have to get up and get myself through it no matter what. There was no way other than to go forward for me at some point and after all of this is done, I will be sure I can do anything I want. I can achieve anything. 

Even if you don't have money and can't afford to go the path you like, you can always find a way around it to pursue your goal. Maybe it will turn out slightly different from what you imagine on the way but you can reach your goal. Don't let anyone tell you you can't. You wouldn't know how far it pushed me when people said that I can't do something or that something seems unreachable.

Also don't fear time. You will get older but dreams take time. It's the road to happiness that will make you happy if you don't forget what you are fighting for. You will get older, yes, but you will become happy on the way too. Each year you will look behind and realize all the amazing things you have done and achieved. Don't fear change, either. It will all be for the best if you work on it. And even slow success is progress.

Long deep talk. For those of you who have dreams and are unsure about things, I hope maybe this gave you a little hope that you are not alone.

Other than that, I don't have much to tell other than I have already redone my nails twice during the past months, haha. They're simple but I like how long they got!

I love the pastel pink and blue! Wonderful soft, feminine colours. Because I used a substitute for the cleaner, thumb and index finger fell off rather quickly and I had no chance to renew them while in the dorm... such a pity because my real nails were already that long.

I have been out sometimes, too, like yesterday when a friend went to a concert around my area and we had the chance to meet before that. But I forgot to take pictures because I got drunk after one beer haha. Well, I guess that proves I had fun!

Besides I found an older picture (from 2012) that I took when I wanted to sell some things. It was right after I came back from Japan. Look at that body!!

I am 'only' about 6-7 pounds more now but well, not that the exam phase and all the University stress is hopefully over I can get towards a body like that again. I mostly want to get skin like that again D: Which will be rather hard because that was mainly the work of my birth control. Oh but, I will push myself towards healthier eating and the life I want to live~

Also random side note: FB thought from my profile picture that I am Ageha model Airi Misaki (who poked me once without me poking her!! omg! I like her haha). Now if that isn't a start to a healthier/greater self!

That's all for now! Messy post because my dreams are a bit of a mess still~ 

But, if you are interested in Gyaru brand clothes (d.i.a., Gravil/tutuHa, Ghost of Harlem, Taboo, Garula), please have a look at the clothes I am selling! Especially if you live in Germany or Europe! Most are in a very good condition/like new or completely new~

Take care everyone & don't be afraid to dream a little bigger ♡

highlights in august (tokyo part 1: yakiniku, partying, zero calorie beer & a vk live)

Finally I am here with a new blog entry (=that is not a sale post. But please have a look at my stuff. I will have more coming new items up for sale soon probably!)
I am sorry it took so long but I was really either too lazy or too busy to get online on my PC while in Japan (I literally just sat in front of it about 2 or 3 times). Also I've been plagued by all my little sicknesses again. It's terrible, but lately, whenever I try to lose weight, I get sick, especially in Japan. I know and research a lot about nutrition and the right foods but the sicknesses still break out ugh. Next time I will do it like my mum does, take ALL the meds for various diseases with me and then I will probably end up not being sick at all (><) I am still fighting off this little cold but that is nothing compared to what I have all been dealing with.
Traveling is stressful, let me tell you! Especially if you are constantly trying to lose weight but that is another story.

Here I finally come and present you the highlights of my holiday. It was a fun trip, as always, and I feel like I have done way more than usually, probably also because I took a lot time 'off' and did not have too many conversation lessons. I sort of feel like I should have watched my expenses more but well, I had a lot of fun with a lot of different people so I cannot complain and I do not regret anything. So anyway, during the first days, I met with several friends and the guy who became my boyfriend (of some sort) in the end. I got extensions in Shinjuku for about 8,000yen and then I quickly got back into the Tokyo life-style of dressing up and doing make-up everyday.

First time yakiniku that year was when I went out with my bf in Shibuya.

It was not very good but we only spent about 1,500yen each so it was sort of alright!

The next day it was my friend Mia's almost-last-day in Tokyo or at least the last day that I saw her (TT) We went out for Yakiniku at a place in Kabukicho that I found online. It was really good but also expensive, damn. We ended up paying almost 5,000yen together and I was not exactly full!

Mia managed to take a nice picture of me though! Kind of a true to life picture haha.

(doesn't happen to me very often that I look the way that I really look in photos)

We went to a host club later where I had THE prettiest host I had seen in ages who actually tried to lure me in. Oh wait, we went to two host clubs and then to Yukihide's bar (which ended up being pretty lame and a disaster so let us forget about that). So I sort of kept in touch with the hosts that I have sort of shimei'd/picked at the end and met one two more times. The other one (the hottie/pretty guy) had a plan to meet me on the last Saturday that I was there on his day off but because there was another guy who I met at atom who also had off that day, I didn't make it to meet both of them (TT) Well, scheduling dates is difficult! There you have the reason why I hardly got online.

Well, so let's skip back to the time after what happened when Mia left for her trip Osaka (and then home to England after that). I finally met Kitai for clubbing but before that I have also seen her at Hachiko while I was waiting for my guy! What a coincidence. We finally got to hang out and I went clubbing in Shibuya for the first time that year. And after that a few more times, again with Kitai and some of her friends. I also met Jasmin and Eriko, two very sweet girls that I would love to see again!

Of course we went to an Izakaya before partying! & I took some pictures of myself because there was a nice lighting. I feel like that sort of smile makes me look like  MiA from mejibray a bit but well! 

Some more blurry pictures before and during partying! Here you can see out outfits actually.

We also took purikura but I will upload those later because I didn't get all of them on my phone. 

The next days I thought I need a rest. The night before I drank the zero calorie & zero alcohol beer and felt horrible after it! I don't know what that is even, zero calorie and zero alcohol beer. I think it must be something terribly chemical?!

I am quite sure I will never drink that again unless I want to harm myself. Anyway, the next day I wanted to meet my bf and I suddenly felt a bit nauseous (I often feel nauseous though, especially when I don't eat enough) but then I also felt a strong pain in my abdomen that was linked to my back! I was a bit scared about it. I talked to one of my Japanese acquaintances who happens to be a doctor about it and he told me that I should drink at least 3 litres of water and go to the hospital if it does not get better. I guess I simply did not drink enough and did not care too much about my health but it is sort of difficult for me when I am busy and want to lose weight and want to control my expenses, ugh. He kept advising me to go to the hospital but since it was obon week, it would be more expensive than usual so I really thought it would be okay on its own. (After a few days I felt better and then I also got antibiotics later.)

Overall I can say that constantly meeting someone stressed me out a lot though. Of course I wanted to meet everyone but my time there was so short that I felt forced to go here and there and that I also felt like I owe something to people sometimes. And it bothered me that all that most Japanese people say is 'shinpai shiteiru' but they don't give a fuck about whether you are sick or not, bf included. Even the guys who were intersted in me wrote me just shit like 'oh so did you bf visit you?' and some others wanted to do 見舞い but wtf does that even mean and how does that look like when I am sick and lazy in bed trying to recover and you are coming to look at me like at a wild animal.

But anyway... during my few days off that I used to relax and drink lots of water, I only went out for a few hours a day for lessons and meeting that friend and then I did my nails with nail stickers (´д｀lll)

Also my Garula coordinate that showed lots of cleavage hahaha. But that is hidden here.

So the next time I went out it was when I still did not feel very well but I though whatever. I am stronger than this sickness and I will not let it ruin my holiday. This time it was with Kitai, Jasmin and Eriko. I was on pain killers but in a good mood because I got out again. I did not drink anything alcoholic during that night, the music was good as always though and there was even someone good-looking in the club that I talked to so it was actually just what I needed and wanted, I had a great time talking with the girls and dancing. This is also a way to relax, right?~

Lovely purikura that we all got because Eriko uploaded them~

I look huge here because the wooden border on the wall has almost the same colour as my cardigan so it looks like my shoulder ends there but it does not omg （ｉДｉ）

This is the first time that I think I'd have actually looked slimmer without my cardigan! haha

I literally do not really remember what was on my schedule for the next day. I wanted to meet Eriko again but we both caught only very little sleep so we did not meet, I started taking anitbiotics the next day (that the acquaintance gave me) and went for 2 more lessons, then in the evening... did nothing, I think? It was a Sunday and I was tired I guess. The next day I met Jasmin and Eriko again, we took some purikura and went to karaoke with another friend of Eriko. After spending some time in Shibuya 109, Eriko (who is from Nagoya) told me about all little wounds she had since she came to Tokyo! So I am not the only one who gets sick here haha. Also she bought flat shoes because her heels just became really uncomfortable after a while. Later I could convince everyone to go to the free live Crazy★Shampoo was hosting in Harajuku. I hate Harajuku but I paid everyone's drink tickets that we had to pay for and we spent about an hour there before Eriko and Jasmin said they wanted to head home. I stayed a bit longer and it was kind of fun. There was some birthday contest event and a lot of talking.

I don't enjoy going out to lives as much as I used to but it was still good and I liked the songs!

So this is all that happened up until August 19th and with that half of my holiday there was already over. I guess I will stop here because this is getting really long. Orginally I wanted to make this only 2 parts but there might be 3 after all. Please look forward to hear about the cat cafe I went to, as well as more party, more beautiful people, more purikura and some more food!~

shooting outcome, diet restart & sparkly gets

Long time no see, my my.
The semester started and I found myself fully stressed with deadlines, sinking into a system of bureaucracy with no idea how to step out, ugh. The new apartment is a big fail. A big wtf fail. It's not new at all and it has nasty bugs creeping out of the walls (there is some holes in the skirting board) that I don't know how to deal with. Ungh. I will drop by at the administration office a few more times and get that room as clean as it gets and sooner or later just give up or what not. I am glad my mom is trying to help me with this ; ; It's just getting really horrible. I hope I will find a solution soon.

So, first things first. I saw the outcomes of the shooting at madRip. It looks like they didn't photoshop at all so the photos are rather disillusioning people of my beauty I suppose haha ; ;
If you haven't seen them on facebook yet, here they are. I adjusted the brightness slightly.

I look weird on the chu-lip one but I like the other one where you can also see my blue strands (◕‿◕)

With these pictures I again realized I am not really satisfied with my body yet and since I somehow could find the patience to restart my diet, I am on a 1200 calorie diet now with the help of 

myfitnesspal.com

I didn't really lose weight yet (well, 200g) but the diet is supposed to make you lose weight slowly so you don't gain it all back later. I hope that I will lose 1kg until next week. My total goal is 4kg. Later I might go for more.
The system is similar to weight watchers which helped me to lose weight when I was 17. If you exercise, you will earn extra calories to eat more. If you are trying to diet, please give it a try. Also add me if you like~ Dieting together keeps you motivated.

Next: My latest gets!

new lashes I bought while still in Tokyo

Embryolisse that many ageha & egg models use

d.i.a. bra from ebay I spotted by chance

I absoultely couldn't resist the d.i.a. mise bra when I saw it, and I got it for 20€ (including shipping) which is a good price for a BNWOT item I think. I was fearing that it's too small even when I just held it in my hands but it actually fits way better than most of my other bras (even my Ma*rs mise bra is simply too big, I need to always pull the straps tight around my neck and it won't really hold). I guess I was wrong about my underbust measurement...
For my birthday two weeks ago I also got a lot of other d.i.a. things from mbok which I am still waiting for. Almost regret spending so much money but once a year you need to spoil yourself, right?♪

Take care everyone, hopefully spring will get around soon~

UFO catchers & past coordinates

Hello everyone!

Just a short update, sharing some pictures and some rambling.

For the first time in my life I took pictures of something like UFO catchers. I always thought that they were pretty amazing but I never take many pictures of that kind of stuff, I guess.

Also, look at that dessert I spotted at my local konbini. It was good but I regret buying it. I should have invested in something healthy but it's really cold and snowy/icy and I wanted something to cheer up since no one wants to go out today, me neither. I regret buying it anyway, haha.

Coordinates. (1 & 2) d.i.a. top & choker, Spiga cardigan, Sneep Dip hot pants, worn a lot. (3) d.i.a. top, offbrand bolero, skinny lip belt, d.i.a. jeans. Didn't wear this out, it is so cold lately (>д<;)

Also bought a ticket for my favourite band's live. I am poor & now off to spend money on healthy konbini food (does it exist?) so at least I won't get sick again since I just recoveredヽ(≧Д≦)ノ 

Japanese smiley face failing at expressing my hatred for getting sick ww Have a good week everyone!!

valentine's, diet & sickness

Happy belated Valentine's Day everyone!

I happened to get invited for that day actually & thought: Well, why not go if I don't have any plans.

I've really looked tired for the past days since I arrived in Japan though and I start thinking I should eat more. But strangely I'm not particularly hungry for anything since I arrived in here ( ; ; )

Even though I looked tired, I had a good evening and the food was great, especially the dessert.

me & my friend, the dessert <3

still looking tired, haha ; ;

On the 15th, I've been meeting up with a friend that I got to know online and we spend our time around Shibuya and Shinjuku. While in Shibuya, I decided to finally brace up and try a pair of long d.i.a. pants - what happened? They fitted. I was so unsure and told the stuff that they look so small but she said that they are really stretchy and that if I take of my stockings, I would surely fit into them. Ah, I really didn't expect that. Even length-wise, they were perfect and really comfortable! I was so surprised. I still decided to wait before I buy them... Since I already have many dark-coloured jeans, maybe I will go for a light coloured pair. Besides, they are still about 13,000yen which is an awful lot of money.

Besides, I also tried on this pair of Ma*rs pants but I think I'll rather go for d.i.a.~

So after 'window shopping', my friend and I headed to Shinjuku and I felt a weird kind of hunger mixed with nausea (I often get nauseous though, especially when I am really hungry and don't eat in the morning. I know, not exactly healthy...). I decided to eat something at Café Aya in Shinjuku since the mentaiko spaghetti was below 400yen! I was okay for a bit but still got hungry later on, so I ate an onigiri. Later I drank some wine, too and this is when it started. I felt really nauseous. I've been living with nausea since I take the birth control and can handle it by now but how I felt then was just horrible. I decided to eat a bit more, I still didn't feel full, but after a while I couldn't take it anymore and started throwing up. Even when I just drank water, I threw it all up. I felt terrible until I think 8 am in the morning, when I could finally sleep without throwing all up.

For now I'll be trying to eat healthy and I will also be cutting meat I think. I am not sure if this sickness was caused by my badly organized diet or by the steak I ate on the 14th. It was medium and slightly raw in the middle, and a friend recently had problems too, after eating meat. I've heard that last year there was quite some problems with high caesium levels in meat, but I am still not sure if that could be the reason. It annoys me that you can never find out the real reason after all!

Did anyone else have similar problems while being in Japan? Even just slight nausea or anything?

3, 2, 1 and back in germany.

Well well, and here I am back, telling you about my last days in Japan and how much I miss it and want to go back soon. Saving money from now on. - Honestly? I am not even using foundation or anything most of the time, saving make-up money.

Thursday night my friend and I went out in Shinjuku, walked around 2-chome and Kabukicho, seeing my favourite guy and a friend of her and well well ( ; _ ; ) Saying good-bye to everyone, only not really because I am not really good at saying that so I left it out. It upsets people to say good-bye, right? And no one really even wants to say it, unless you're coming back really soon. I'm not sure but maybe Japanese people are a lot like that too.
However, here is what i wore that night. Sorry, I'm too lazy to photoshop the pics in this entry ;<

Shirt: Ma*rs

Hotpants (with skirt part in the front): Gilfy

Belt: Skinny Lip

(Shoes: German brand)

We went to Club Axxcis but only stayed for a few hours. The music was nice but it was really empty. So we decided to walk around Kabukicho, talk to random people, go to an Izakaya, and in the morning Karaoke ♫
I had so much fun walking around and looking at everyone, even though I fell in the afternoon because of slippy floor in the Izakaya and my leg hurted after that in the morning. But it was nice and warm and not raining, luckily. Also a kind of cute host named Kouki came up to and asked for my number, telling me that I promised to give him my number the next time I see him... whenever that was. We wrote each other mails and I gave him my hotmail address when I was about to go back but he didn't mail me again, haha. Guys!

Now I really miss all of Japan, even though I complain about Tokyo people a lot. I had no problems with cockroaches or any other bugs in my house and my budget was alright too. I miss my friends, even though I basically was only hanging out with two people.
Apart from that, I lost about 2,5kg during my trip (4 weeks)! I was really happy to see then when I came back and weighed myself. Now I'm really scared to gain it all back again. I'll just try to take a nice long walk every now and then and hope it doesn't come back~

Here's the nail tips I bought in Donki haha. Since I can't wear gel nails for a while, I'll be sticking with these.
And if you want to get gel nails for yourself, please let me know! I want to practise right now (and only take material expenses) :>

10 to go / day 1 of detox

sooooo. preparing my body for my vacation with a 7-days-detox. i ate so much trash lately. i even lost a pound(!) just during this day because of only eating fruits/salad/yoghurt. and i don't feel as bloated anymore.

10 more days until my flight to tokyo. i am excited and i should be writing the guesthouse... but i'm really lazy. maybe because i am again/still scared of cockroaches i might find in the room? haha. i'll try to get the house tour at around 5pm when it gets dark. please no cockroaches in my room! :< after all, i'm a bit scared of how tokyo will be this time. my budget will most likely be tight too.
i'm also still thinking about how short i should get my nails, so they don't break all off after 2 weeks... right now they're just a mess ; ;'

& a pic of how they were before. i miss the length~
somehow the gel on the index finger won't last (lack of vitamins maybe?)... so i'll get that one done next week.
i'm not sure if to get extensions this time or if i'll have the money... or should i go with a prisila wig? what do you think are the best and easiest hairdos for summer?
at last, an outfit post because i found my old leather jacket~

shirt: strip cabaret

hot pants: taboo

belt: closet child

shoes: bonita (studio alta)

sorry about the bad quality pics. i need to think of something better soon : <