To be honest I wanted to write this post about deciding to not go back to Japan anymore and being happy with it (I even had in mind to link this awesome Iggy Azalea video to it). But I am not so sure anymore. Life seems to be just about... going on with your life at times. And more often than not, you will want to go back to things because of nostalgia.
Though I do not support some of the things T.I. sings about lol
I miss doing make-up more and wearing pretty clothes (mostly the clothes, I do make-up here too, a lot, haha). And the opportunities to wear pretty clothes and make up.
But to be honest, there is so many things I do not miss. Extreme objectification (Japanese men being abnormally crazy about boobs and anime girls... and of course anime girl boobs). The constant bland conversations. And I am not sure if that was Japan or not, but I also had some health problems and I swear I could see it in my face.
I still don’t get why my face always got so puffy in Japan after some years of living there and what causes me these deep scary breakouts when I go back like in February this year (right picture)
Meanwhile my face and only very minor breakouts in Germany
Meanwhile - well, a bit random but - flawless skin in Ho Chi Minh City (right; left is industrial zone in a suburb. but I mean it. Flawless. Maybe it's the holiday/novelty effect though. Also love durian since I had it in Malaysia. Only can't eat too much of it or else I get sick again lol)
Still I wanted to go back countless times. And that’s not only to get my new glasses properly adjusted again (the tiny nose part broke and a friend helped me to replace them but did not get them adjusted to my face yet - and totally scared I will break it again if I adjust the nose part myself again).
Though I have had my phases with being back in Germany, I try to remind myself that you can always change your life. And being here for now is not so bad. I took up the studies I wanted to do (Master’s) and got to go on a EU supported project that was completely sponsored. It was quite tiring but it was nothing compared to the brainless Japanese university project. Which surprised me a little but well, the EU was kind of behind it for the most part, so maybe not that surprising.
Some Saigon (HCMC) impressions
And the industrial zone suburb next to it
While being in Vietnam, I realized I still had so many things that I wanted to do. The project was maybe way smaller than I imagined - and so are fieldtrips. They are way more ‘natural’ and not really as exciting as one would expect (God, I got sick while being in the industrial zone. Saigon/HCMC was surprisingly clean compared to it.) And while the project was good on its own, I can only hope it was bringing me a step towards where I want to be. And I suppose that is: no mediocre.
