“Good evening, my name is XY. Please treat me kindly.”
“Good evening.”
“What’s your name?”
“My name is YZ.”
“Oh, what a nice name. Have you been here before?”
“No, but someone recommended this place.”
“Oh, nice. Did you go drinking somewhere else before coming here?”
“...”
A regular conversation at a hostess club in Japan. The men who come there, usually drained by work or society, or by their own boring personality, do not have much to talk about. It is usually the hostess that does all of the talking. In the case of a foreign (non-Japanese) hostess, sometimes positively racist remarks are made about how tall she is or how big her nose is or how white her skin, especially in the case of a white hostess. Then if the hostess is black, it is mostly assumed she must be either from the United States or some African country. But let us not talk about how racist the Japanese are. Let us talk about why Japanese men go to hostess clubs.
I often hear or read western people saying they do not understand why Japanese spend so much money at these clubs. Obviously it is the same people who have no real understanding of the depths of Japanese society and about how messed up it is. Though, if you really wonder why these clubs are so popular, can’t you tell that there must be something wrong?
One of the non-regular customers I encountered at my own work place, a man who was born in Hokkaido, told me he was very tired of the standardized conversation he usually had at Japanese hostess clubs. It was that remark that made me a bit more awake, though I was already very tired and worn out of the amount of standardized conversations I had that week. I asked him why people have these conversations here in the first place, and what he answered was: “Because most people who come here cannot even hold conversations like that.” There, you see, the Japanese are in a way retarded (as suggested by Ken Seeroi).
Of course we all long to have a conversation sometimes, and sometimes small talk is necessary. In the countries like the US and Australia, having a bit of small talk with a stranger or with someone you do not know very well is considered polite. Even in Europe it is considered polite, but it really depends on the people involved and the situation. However, that is a few minutes of small talk, not 30 minutes or even an hour, as in the case of Japanese hostess clubs. It makes you wonder if the Japanese are okay in their head - paying 3,000, 6,000 or even 10,000yen to have small talk with a pretty girl for an hour?
There are theories that say Japanese men go to these clubs because they do not want to go home to a nagging wife. They do not want any tiring conversation after a long day of work. I completely understand that but at the same time I understand their wives because most of them probably do not nag for no reason. Maybe the husband’s salary is too low or their working hours are too long or they spend too much money after work, or, if you are a very lucky wife (sarcasm), all three combined.
Still, the Japanese men, no matter how little they earn, how recklessly they spend, how little they care about the needs of their wife or family, want to be loved and cared for. Here comes the whole society crumbling down these days - our generation Y, who are obsessed with themselves. It does not matter so much what I do for others, it is all about our new-age so called ‘acceptance’ of everyone who is different: I deserve to be loved and accepted.
I cannot imagine what hostess clubs were for generation X people, especially in the bubble era. Maybe it was just an outlet for groups of salarymen to go to, in actual large groups, to celebrate whatever successful business deals they had made that day. In that case, it would surely be more understandable for the western mind because these groups do not come only for certain girls, and they do not spend their private money but the company’s (simply to celebrate, as you would spend money on a company party).
That is more the mind of generation X customers, but let us come back to our self-obsessed generation Y customers that come mostly alone or in a group of up to four people, though mainly alone or with just one male companion. Those people who want to be loved after a long day of hard(ly any) work but do not want to work for that love. Love, you would think, especially in the case of Japan, is a need one wants fulfilled. As Hiroki Azuma pointed out in his work Database Animals:
“The difference between animals and humans is that they pursue an unquenchable meaning to life. Animals, in turn, aren’t searching for meaning. They only want to have their basic needs met.”
Azuma describes these “animals” of the Japanese society as Otaku. I go as far as describing the regular Japanese hostess club visitor as Otaku. He just wants his basic need for love met. In the BBC documentary “Storyville: Tokyo girls” that describes the lives of idols and their fans, one female commentator even goes as far as saying that these men do not want to put any effort into a real relationship with a girl, they want to be loved and accepted without doing anything for it (watch it here; 38:59).
Now though, what if we see this all in a postmodern way, and think about the Japanese society as evolved, with the Japanese Otaku, craving love and fulfilling that need with anime characters, idols, and hostesses? Indeed all the needs we have in life can be fulfilled artificially in that way, and there is no denying that we all want to be loved. Now if that love can be consumed, is that so bad or is that maybe simply less traditional? It starts to become a very Science Fiction like scene at this point, and if we look at new movies, let me here throw in my deeply beloved Blade Runner 2049 as an example: it predicts a society where women, especially the ‘unreal’ women (holograms, androids), are consumable goods. Through making these movies, our society faces the change that is occuring these days: we forgot how to connect or we have no time to connect and build a reliable bond. Or are we simply too lazy and too self-obsessed to become anything more than Otaku?
Personally I see nothing wrong with hostess clubs. After all, women can consume the same sort of love with male anime characters, male idols (movie stars and musicians) and male hosts. From my neo feministic point of view, this is all very equal and I cannot criticize the mere consumption of love. However, we all have to be aware that the love we consume from those places is fake love. It is love that is meant to be consumed, it is wrapped prettily and it is prepared to be consumed. It is not real mutual love with a deep meaningful relationship behind it.
In that sense, is the Japanese Otaku community - that is growing dangerously big and difficult to distinguish from our non-self-obsessed more westernized crowd - simply the android society in the Blade Runner 2049 sense? Are we all less human than we think we are?
Guys, I’ve had it with Tokyo. No, seriously. I’ve had it.
What, no hello, no hi how have you been? No, none of that. I became too much of a Tokyoite, looking fresh and oh so cool from outside but being bitter on the inside. Besides, who the hell even says hello here? Right, only people who study Japanese. Or store attendants.
By now I’ve just been in Tokyo way too long. And it’s true what they say, after the 4th, 5th, 6th or at least after the 7th year you will start hating Tokyo. Or grow bored with it. Or it’s a mix of hate, boredom and disgust, like in my case. Or you already gave in to everything and accepted it, then congrats. Or you lost your brain somewhere among the zombie crowds, in which case I feel sincerely sorry for your loss.
Either way, hey, I finally got out of the drained state (tokyo vampire lemonade hah) for a second, and lately I have been thinking of restarting this blog. There was so much I wanted to write about the last few weeks and finally, finally after watching 3 seasons of Sex and the City (yeah, I actually never properly watched it) I thought: hey, I should write! I should share all the things I have to say! Maybe there’s something useful in what I have to say.
Let’s start with all the cool stuff about Tokyo that’s still actually rocking, besides food (which will make you get stomach or another form of cancer sooner or later but let’s save that for next time):
Fashion
The fashion is still freaking awesome and cheap considering the not too bad quality (I am not even being sarcastic I can’t help sounding like that even when I want to praise Japan).
Yes, Gyaru fashion toned down and everything became really onee-san-y or leaning towards Kyabajo/Agejo-ish fashion because let’s be honest, those girls are basically the only group left wearing that fashion. Those or the freeters, NEETs and maybe some of the high school/universtiy students.
With the identity crisis among the Japanese and the rush of working women who are stressing through managing their household chores as well as their office (lady) jobs that demand more and more overtime hours, what time is there left for fashion? Actually if you look more or less decent after finishing a 50 hour work week plus additional unpaid work at home, you will be happy to just throw on anything and go out to have fun, if you still have the energy that is.
No idea where women like Sayo Hayakawa take the energy &time to raise a child alone on top of all of that work
(I swear I am not being sarcastic)
Where, I ask you, is the time to find your own identity or fashion sense? Or fashion, for that matter?
And hence, what you see these days is either the old gyaru-ish toned down, the childish-sweet inspired or the foreign inspired fashion. And by foreign I mean mainly European/American or Korean. I’ve mostly really seen a raise in Korean fashion (hence I probably don’t go out much anymore haha). There’s nothing much to see besides that. But at least it has become cheap!
Since the wages are dropping while taxes are rising (I feel like half of what I am writing should be put in a paper about Japanese culture), we can see that ‘I will buy it all as long as it is cheap & cute’ attitude. Fabric, quality, size? Yeah, don’t care too much about that, it just gotta be cheap.
There there, girls, now let me introduce you to the shop that every girl and there Japanese mom is already shopping at: Puci Puri (actually: puchi pri taken from the french petit prix) / Qoo10
Let me tell you one thing, I have seen these sandals a lot and even in Shinjuku already... last summer! And they’re still going strong.
Also, want one of those trending mini Furla style bags but not spend all that $$? Save that money for your next trip out of Japan and go with this one!
I have bought these cool bags myself and they were cheap considering they look exactly like in the picture! Of course the quality isn’t that amazing but how amazing do they look?! The design is just art! This art smells quite a bit of plastic though, so be warned. But then again, I've seen one of the other versions hanging on the shoulder of a young woman in Kabukicho just 2 days ago!
If you’re like me and love the mere feeling of collecting and owning beautiful shoes and bags, this store is for you! However, don’t forget to notify the seller you buy from once your item arrived or else they won’t get the money you paid. For Japan it’s a quite new shop system to buy from other countries, directly from foreigner sellers and this has been heavily promoted since at least last year (I found it by chance through a purikura sales promotion mail).
The awesome comfy shoes that I bought, rarely wear because of the super thin heels but nevertheless needed to possess
Though be warned, that stuff is still cheap and that means cheaply made. Besides the bags, I have bought 2 pairs of shoes of which one was quite awesome and the other one rubs against my feet until they bleed but they also look quite awesome. I’ve also bought a shirt that I wasn’t very satisfied with, it had a way more unflattering cut than expected. So be sure to always check the reviews!
Do you have any experiences with that site? I would be glad to hear about your experiences. To everyone else happy shopping~
Please dear readers, hit me with something (preferably soft) right now until I go to actually work on my thesis which I planned all along. It's like I have all the info in my head but I haven't properly sorted it and I just don't feel like sorting out all the quotations and finding a structure though I'm practically 60% done when I write down all of what is in my head plus quotes (which I have already written down by hand while reading the books). Having a lot of time for something really makes you work slowly on it, right?
But since I am here already, today I'd like to write about powerful women. The past weeks I have been thinking about what is the best way to overcome the overly attached, unspoilt, cute, quiet, and sometimes annoying view of women that a lot of people/men have and that is generally really popular in anime/manga/games and the Japanese culture.
To be honest, I am extremely tired of this perception.
One of the things annoying me in particular is men ignoring women's real character, particularly Japanese men (probably because Japanese girls are so quiet?). I have even talked to man who dared to interpret a woman's characters in a completely twisted way - and while I didn't know what her true intentions really looked like, I was quite sure he was only interpreting it that way because it fitted him that way and pushed his ego (he basically said that she was sort of fond of him but she never spoke about him to me).
One example: By chance I read online (true story) that a Japanese guy asked for advice on a site where you can ask people questions more or less anonymously - something like yahoo answers. The title of his question was: 'Women who have no need for boyfriends'. So he was telling his story of how he was in love with this girl and knew she broke up with her ex because she didn't need a boyfriend and wanted to have time to pursue her hobbies and find new friends (=totally understandable if you ask me). Then when the guy says when he asked her what relationship they have, she said she doesn't know and when he asked her what he is to her, she replied with 'important'.
So the guy is wondering if the girl would remember him when she wanted a boyfriend and says that probably timing is important - and then asks the others what they think.
And what is the second line (after the greeting) this j*** from the top answer says to him?
'I don't think there is any woman who doesn't need a boyfriend.'
I really lost it when I read that. He didn't say that he doesn't think there isn't any girl who doesn't WANT a boyfriend, he literally said he thinks every girl needs a boyfriend (or else she isn't a real girl or what?)!! From what he wrote, this is one of the guys who thinks if they put kindness coins into a girl she will be what he wants her to be... that women can't manage their life on their own! While even from my thesis I read about researches that make obvious it is JAPANESE MEN who cannot get along in life when they get a divorce.
You know, if it is some other sort of 'light' sexual harassment, I don't mind it as much as this. Attacking women to not be able to get along on their own is so terribly rude, I really start wanting to punch someone!
And this kind of thinking goes up to a level where I am ashamed of men, like when I read this article. I am particularly angry and willing to find way to change and attract awareness to what is happening because this kind of situation of women in the workforce is a part of my thesis.
But that is also when I start realizing that by the years, there is more women working in full-time positions in Japan and having careers in typically male working fields.
One of the things that also made me realize Japan's society and perception of women is changing was when I was yesterday looking for an anime with an elder protagonist (one not in school anymore, I am tired of the characters with a childish mind-set), I was surprised to find one from the Sci-Fi genre called 'Psycho-pass' that grew more and more on me and of whom I did not strongly dislike any female characters.
This is extremely rare becauseisn't there always some annoying, overly cute girl who speaks in a high voice and who's life has no use? (Basically they are called 'Shojo' and there is research papers about them too!)
But while the female protagonist (Akane) in 'Psycho-pass' does have a higher voice, she is not a shojo with no use, she has a job and is considered calm and ambitious, and always did well in her studies during school/training. But the other girls in this anime are more mature, have a job and also make themselves useful for the society they live in. I was extremely surprised that I was becoming fond of all the female characters, even so the protagonist's friend Yuki who works as a blue-collar worker which is actually very rare because those workers are the ones that do manual labour - they work with their hands, use heavy machines for things like construction etc. Though this could be an 'easier' job too, this is the image you usually get when you hear from blue-collar workers.
And that's not all. Yuki is very considerate of the 'air' she creates
and how other people around her feel, though she might look a bit like a
selfish person from the first view. She is soft, maybe a little cute but by no means is she the dependent kind of girl; she does not have a boyfriend, and on top of that, she does not mysteriously
fall in love with the male protagonist who saves her life and is smart
enough to follow the instructions he gives her in a dangerous situation
(yet with a bit of resistance... meaning you get she is thinking for
herself).
In fact, none of the girls in this anime seem to be
magically drawn to a guy just because he is cool or good-looking or
anything like that. It's the other way round actually - one good-looking
main character guy (Shuusei) finds most girls too intimidating and
tries to find a quiet, weak, calm girl for himself which does not really
work out for him in the end.
Another bad-ass woman is Shion, who does the analyst work (originally though she is a physician) and is extremely attractive if you ask me. Yet, surprisingly her whole team takes her seriously. She 27 years old, wears those
provocative red clothing that shows a lot of skin and is educated and smart (& you usually would rather see
this kind of playful but smart female character in US shows, right?)
Shion on the left and Akane on the right
She is also very open with sexual topics (saying things like 'I bet the bra I'm wearing today on this!' in a public discussion) and not at all intimidated by men, taking sexual harassment - in the form of someone grabbing a girls butt at work - not too seriously ( if I'd be an anime character I think I'd be her haha).
...talking about one of her female coworkers here.
There is more girls, but since I am still in the middle of watching this, I will stop here because I don't want to take the fun away for now. Let me only mention that the head of the police department is an elder women.
But while you might all already know that I am impressed with strong (blonde) female characters, don't you think these girls even go one step further with their whole being? None of them cares about men and they all have work and focus on it or the way they want to lead their life. And men take them seriously!
Seeing this anime made me really happy because not only that it is very interesting to see another Sci-Fi future, and follow the philosophical talk that leads you to think about how the world is working and how it should be working but it also shows another future vision of strong women. I really really hope Japan's society is going, at least with a few women, into this direction and if you want a good anime, please check this one out. I'd like it if a lot of girls watched this one.
If you're slightly interested, maybe the cool opening might convince you to give it a shot~
If you are, like me, extremely upset with too young characters and weak female characters that are being nothing but useless (or maybe are only used as eye candy), this is really something for you. I was surprised myself how extremely drawn I was to this from the start (& after the 4th or 5th episode it gets really thrilling).
Okay, changing the topic slightly now - but not really.
Other than gaining respect for a profession that you have to put a lot of effort into by studying, what is another way for a modern women to become independent and respected by others?
You have an answer? - Well, there is more than one answer but the one I have in my head is: opening your own business.
How do we do that? Well, I am not actually here to teach you how to open your own business because to be blunt, I have no idea haha. But you can practice this kind of thing by opening your own host club!
You don't believe me? Have a look at it yourself!
Now what is this sparkly good-looking guy business here? It's a browser game you can play on ameba called 'My little hosts' where you open your own host club and manage it (by simple leveling up hosts).
Actually the title differs slightly each time the event changes but it's something like
'Protect me! -kanji that are pretty badass & I'm too lazy to look up but that name the current event- My (little) hosts'
With that you get the idea what it is about... right? - But to be honest, when I first looked at it from the title I really thought that I was just some kind of help at the place.
Usually, in host clubs there is no female staff (in contrast, hostess clubs usually have male waiters) so I was quite surprised that in the game you got to work there as a girl. Since I don't know too many kanji but could navigate myself through the game, I kept guessing that as a girl working there you might have some kind of accounting position in the 'back', which seemed the most logical to me ... until it came out that you can talk to the guys and they actually call you 'owner'!!
So that is how the story starts, you have this club and you walk around the street and recruit guys for it (I am quite sure it's much easier than in real life). They come up to you, most of them being polite but some, especially in the beginning, saying that a female owner is so rare... or something like 'Oh there is something like that, a female owner?' or 'Don't think you can become friends with me'.
Soon you will realize that most of the guys you recruit are quite nice to you. Each time when you are meeting a new face, that person will come up to introduce himself to you and many of them have actually real voices (some from very popular anime seiyuu I guess?).
Guys who want to try working at your club introduce themselves to you first.
(Hosts that are rare have a voice attached during that, 'plain' guys ones don't)
On top on that, you can unlock their stories by leveling them up and go
on dates with them to make their charming power even stronger. When you
go on dates with them, you give them a call and you'll get a voice
answering if they have time for the date (when they have the voice
attached... some don't).
... unlocking & reading their stories and hearing their voice again when they have one attached.
Just giving them a straight call, you can invite the guys who work for you to a date (if you have a date ticket)!
You're THE female pimp!
Then there is another kind of date, or event that you can go to other
than to work. By going to the event (this was an event during rainy
season) you can gather experience points for yourself, as well as
rewards (roses) when the hosts protect you against some evil guy that is
trying to do you harm. The roses can be exchanged for random prizes
that are 'money', energy drinks to fill up your empty energy gauge or
something like new hosts. The hosts are displayed as cards.
... some normal date (?) event and then a rainy day date event
There's also a way to have call battles (probably from 'champagne call battles' ?) where you can let your hosts fight (or rather drink) against another owner's hosts. Only the 5 most popular/strongest host will be doing this work, they will win experience and some kind of 'puzzle' bonus one can collect. Besides that there is also 'normal' work where you and your host can gain experience points and through which you can meet new hosts.
Actually, rather than me explaining any more of that, you should try it yourself if you want to be the owner of a host club for once! The downside is that it is almost all in Japanese, especially the conversations. You might get the idea if you understand only little of it though. And then there was this one Engrish scene that was almost perfect English but then they didn't make it.
I am being mean... but, instead of talking any more about it, please check it out on ameba yourself (it's a free Japanese blogging site). I think you need an ameba account to play it but you'll see the game right away in the games section.
If you don't feel like playing it, this game actually seems to be modeled after an entertainment (?) TV show that is only on since a few months if I got it right.
It's a little different but then the girl seems a bit more powerful than usual real Japanese girls and the guys (especially one who sells flowers) are extremely surprised to hear that she is the owner of a host club which upsets the owner sometimes. It then gets funny when the hosts seem to be romancing the female owner a little but she also seems to have fights with the staff.
To be honest, the game seems more 'serious' to me with the idea of a female leader. Then again the girl in the TV show doesn't seem to be very educated, so maybe there is a slightly bad view on her because of that and not only because she is in a leading position (hierarchies in business positions in Japan are generally really tough when it comes to someone's education/experience).
You see, there is many options opening up for ambitious women these days and I feel like these struggles to be accepted as a woman who is attractive, smart, educated and independent are slowing becoming recognized as we are little by little less discriminated by our age, too (at least I hope this is the direction it is going towards). I hope women can be recognized as intelligent and independent even when they decide to care about their looks & to be beautiful, and that women who are intelligent are not seen as men's enemies. And I hope that women set goals for themselves for the future other than watching their 'outer beauty' fade.
After all, I just hope that if hey wish to, women can get the chances to work in the same professions as men (e.g. managers, blue collar workers) and become proud of that, as well as I hope that men will not be discouraged to work in positions that are in typically female field (e.g. nail-artist).
This was a very long post, oh my god, I always have so much to say here but I hope you can take something from this with you and expand your horizon.
If you like, please also share your opinion in the comments, I am really interested to hear it ♡
